someone stop me
'Watsonitis is a medical condition classified by a swelling of the Watson. Several factors can contribute to this, the most common of which is an introduction of Sherlockian into the system. This irritates the adrenal glands located near the Watson, leading to an increase in adrenaline input, swelling, and intensified crime-fighting skills. One of the most noticeable symptoms is the tendency of the afflicted to apologize frequently, often over trivial things. It can also effect the mind, causing the infected to suffer from several psychosomatic symptoms as well. These differ from person to person, but the most common are focused in the left shoulder or right leg. There is no true cure for Watsonitis- once Sherlockian has been introduced into the body, it's almost impossible to get rid of. Unfortunately, this can lead to a sharp decline in the quality of your love life and an increase in the amount of time you spend chasing criminals through dark alleys on cold London nights. The only known way to repress the symptoms is a large dosage of cable knit sweaters, milk, and kittens.'